Fake Tales

Pt. 1 Four Ever

We sit on the top of the world. Fooling around with cans of colours. We're gonna own these streets some day. Make a wish, make a wish and blow the cold away.

We close our eyes and make a wish. We dance, and laugh. No one is there, all eyes on us.

Do you see us? Now we have your attention. Four girls, a part of fake tales, a part of the world. We don't have names, you could say we are...ghosts. None of this is real. We'll never realize it though. Someone makes us up along the way. It’s weird, when you find your angels, how they seem to drift away. You make us up along the way. I hope you dream of us. We are here. Always.

The story about the boy in her basement, it isn't true, but it's going to be. Watch me burn.

Do you know how it feels like? Being torn apart. I’m pretty sure you do. You can’t breathe, you can’t sleep. You lie there twisting around in your bed. Everything is annoying. Everything is ugly. I'm your pretty little princess when it's dark. But at daylight, I don't know, you wouldn't know it was me. You could kiss me when I'm drunk, or fool around with me. I'd let you. I love to laugh. I love to love. Let me give you a piece of my love. Things you'd never see, you would never see me hurt, or cry. People say my life is like taken out of a fairytale. They don't know me. They've seen pictures of me, good pictures, that makes me smile. My life, is a sad story like all the others. Broken home, broken heart. Smile to me. Lie to me, make me happy. I hold her hand. She tells me I'm Miss World. I trust her to make it all right for just a moment. We walk and share a smoke. It hurts tonight. I’m so angry at my other half. Both of my other halves.

She had to fuck about it this morning. How empty she is. Take a look at me! Which part of me is filled up with what ever you want? Name it, and I'll give it to you. But you won’t name it. You love your sorrows. And he loves your pain. One side is darker than the other, but then again, both sides can be so wonderful on a good day. Is it just illusions I recall? I know what I’ve experienced and what I’ve seen. They make me feel safe, my friends.

Once upon a dream HE kissed her

I waited for you, in the cold, you know. I made fairytales out of my breath. Clichés, with princes and princesses. They melted together with the snow. I was thinking, maybe I was over thinking it. My hands were so cold. I needed someone to hold around them. I'd forgotten my gloves at home. I know you opened that door for me, and expected me to take the next step. But you put me in a position where I couldn't move. I can't move even now. Though you're drifting further and further away. Where are you going? And why are you leaving me behind? I just need my hands to get warm... maybe I should buy myself some coffee. 7- eleven coffee. No sleep, only agony. A pit hole with no emotions. Where are all my emotions? You promised me. It's all my fault isn't it? I'll sit in the schoolyard, late at night, hearing. It's so comforting the sound of voices. The voices of sound. Fake tales in my room tonight, by the open window to your open door. I'll drift to you in my thoughts while the streetlights are still on, while there are still people passing by my window down the street. I want to text you, ask you how you've been, without playing any silly little games. I'm so sick of these games. But you always make me play with you. Like little brats in the kindergarten, making ponds stuffed with imaginary fishes. And then suddenly we are in my basement. And your face is inches away from mine. Why can't I kiss you? Why can't I be happy? I feel it, I feel it everywhere. I want to melt with you. No! I want you to melt with me. When you leave, you leave me empty.

Time goes by. Tick tock, tick tock... says the sky. I have to do something. Tick tock rapist soul. Tick tock, tick tock. I'll do something stupid that I'll never regret.

Blondes have more fun!

Do we really? I had fun tonight. I had a blast, but when I came home I started thinking. They are leaving. I put on really loud music. It works. Wish I could stuff my head with it, like a stuffed doll you know. I’d be doll parts, doll eyes, doll legs and doll mouth. Would you play with me if I was a doll? If I never talked, never spoke my mind. If I was a creature out of your imagination, would you play with me? I know you are lonely, master of puppets, I know you are. So am I. I want to write, but dolls can’t write. They have other duties. I want to swing, but dolls can’t do that either, they have to attend tea parties with rabbits, falling down black holes to make it. I want to be more than something in a child’s imagination. I want to live. I want to break free how ever stupid it might sound. Maybe I’ll leave to chase my dream too?

And he completes her empty, when he’s there.

It hurts, in my lungs, in my head, in my heart. Physically. It hurts. I don't know what to do, so I stay at school, I go early and leave late. I read about it, to find out what it can be. I can't find any answers. I want you to see how much it hurts. But you're blind. You are even more fragile than I am. I want to make it all right. If I could make a wish, I'd make all the pain in the world go away. But if we felt no pain we'd feel no happiness... I don’t believe that, I want the pain to go away. I walk the graveyard path, I like to read their names. Is that weird? I like to walk. I'm afraid to let go, so I hold on to what I've got. It's slipping through my fingers. I can fix this. I wish I could make the time take us back to a time when you were happy. To a time when your eyes didn't have the frost in them. The car is moving, there are no rabbits in our headlights tonight. I see the world through a foggy window covered with raindrops. Like a dream. Yellow streetlights, the comforting sound of raindrops on the roof. I want to sleep, but I stay awake, I don't want to miss a thing. I don’t want to forget last night. In the basement. The world spinning around in your basement. Music. People. Laughter. Tears. Making love in that basement. Dancing, drinking, smoking. Laying outside watching the stars before we walk in. Cold walk home. Bottles and games, sound of glasses clinging together in a cheer. «Is there a certain angel you're supposed to be?» I ask the air in front of me. I think of you. I watch you, you watch me. You and I standing in a bathroom line. You tell me you got my heart and you make a hand gesture over your chest, touching over your own heart. I don't know what it's supposed to mean, but for some reason I know you're not playing with me. As you lean in, I tell you, I've got you heart too, you whisper sad stories in my ear. I sit alone in space, the cold air and the galaxy. Contradictions right? There is no air in space. Space is cold. It clears my head. You have spellbound us all, bodies and souls. I know, I don't have to wonder. You'll keep it safe. Like the boy in that song ”Pale blue eyes so young, pale blue eyes so far away” You’re not far away, you are here, and you are real. You’re like that...